Julie’s Blog: An antidote to anger

It’s easy to get angry when you don’t get what you want.

You may get angry at a boss for giving you a hard time, or at your kids for not hanging up the towels. Possibly you get mad at your personal trainer because you’re not losing weight, or at a boyfriend who keeps bringing home ice cream. Maybe you just get angry any time you feel disrespected, disappointed or disillusioned.

Here’s what I’ve learned.

You’re usually not angry at the things you think you are. You’re not really angry at your boss, your kids or the trainer. You’re not angry at the boyfriend or anyone else who does something you don’t like.

What you’re angry about is not taking care of yourself.

You see, we forget we can create environments that maintain our sanity, values and healthy mindset. We fail to walk away from situations or relationships that jeopardize our happiness. We’d rather react than respond, and getting angry is easier than taking a look at our choices.

The next time you feel inclined to lash out (either verbally or in your mind), stop and take two breaths. Then ask yourself this Clarifying Question:

What about this situation can I own and change to create a better outcome?

Sometimes the answer lies in restructuring your day and priorities. Other times it involves a difficult conversation to set personal boundaries. Maybe it’s turning off the TV so that you don’t get exposed to news you can’t influence. What I’ve found however, is that often changing the outcome can be much, much easier…like putting the towel-rack lower so that the towels don’t get thrown on the floor.

If you have experiences or thoughts that question or affirm this conversation, please feel free to comment below.

One Response to “Julie’s Blog: An antidote to anger”

  1. Michelle says:

    OMG! Julie, this is EXACTLY what I needed to read this morning. It can be challenging for me to organize schedules when I’m working with the competing needs of my boyfriend, our former spouses and our children. I kinda had a meltdown today and your words reminded me to step back into my power. Thank you my friend–and constant teacher!

    btw–I’m buying a new towel rack for our downstairs bathroom this weekend! It never occurred to me to lower the towel for Angelcakes. Another headache removed!

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