Sometimes we can’t break the cycle, completely.
So when a frustrating event comes up in your life, AGAIN, consider this:
Are you mad at the event itself, or are you mad that it’s coming up again?
If you’re mad that it’s coming up again, first ask yourself if this a cyclical event in your life that is going to occur naturally. Meaning, this may just be a normal part of a relationship, a job or a time of year, and that over the long haul, it will probably come up again. If so, then getting angry because it’s coming up again will get you, well…nowhere.
But if you’re not happy with the content of the event – i.e. that person is doing that thing again – you can choose to see it for what it is (a cyclical event that’s normal) and then take a positive approach.
In The Source for Weight Loss I teach about the Communication Continuum and how asking Clarifying Questions helps us to respond rather than react. So when you see the same, frustrating issues reoccurring in your life, ask these Clarifying Questions:
1) What are the life events that could be affecting this situation?
2) Who do I need to talk to about it?
3) What is my role?
Asking these questions helps you get more skilled at defining what’s bothering you, seeing what factors played into it, and having conversations that resolve it.
Sometimes this process flows really well, other times there will be challenges. That’s okay, it’s all part of the process. The real advantage is that asking questions helps you to calm down, take a look at the bigger picture, and realize that sometimes we just can’t break the cycle, completely.