Click Here to Replay – “Nutritional Challenges Through the Generations”  -  a Mother’s Day special to honor the wonderful moms in my life.  My 70-year-old mom shares her personal health journey, and my sisters share their unique stories of overcoming unhealthy relationships to food, and cultural differences in dietary habits.

I am so excited for this week!  I’m heading to California with Max to visit family, and I can’t wait to plop down on the beach and play in the ocean! As I write this, I’m actually looking at an ocean scene which I loaded as the backdrop to my Gmail page.

I love the water!  Yet strangely, I have recurring dreams about being in the ocean, trying to get out from under huge waves that threaten to take me down.

Okay, so this may sound “out there”, but I was listening to a Zig Ziglar interview this morning, and had a realization.  Watch this first, and then I’ll continue.

What struck me was his quote, “You don’t drown by falling in the water, you drown if you stay there.”

That really resonated with me. I love that he states this with a big grin, as if to say, “Look my friend, here’s your situation, now swim like heck and get out of it!”.

So it occurs to me that these dreams about being “under the wave”, are metaphors for when I’m faced with a tough situation.  Maybe I’m feeling overwhelmed by everything on my plate.  Maybe it’s when I’m in conflict with another person, or trying to figure out a parenting snafu.  I’ve never really stopped to see what’s going on in my life when I have these dreams, but it appears they come up when I’m trying to “sort it all out”.

So here’s the realization…I always get out from under the wave.  I never drown.  And so it is in my life.

How many times have you felt you were “under the wave”?  You have all experienced situations that seems unmanageable, unfair or downright scary.  Yet you’re all still here, right?  You survive. You have the resources to swim out from underneath it all, and come out alive.

So as Ziglar is saying, find the strength, courage, determination and skill to rise up and overcome whatever it is that’s keeping you trapped.  Letting the wave win is not an option!  Especially when you know that your dreams are much bigger than the 20-foot wave that threatens to bring you down.  The life you envision, is actually your life-saver.

So I finally got it.

You know why I never drown in my dreams?  Because I see all the amazing things that await me on the shore.  Now SWIM!

I want to talk to you today about tough love.  What is this really?  For some, “tough love” has a negative connotation -  where you believe that by being tough and enforcing structure and discipline, you need to withhold love and relinquish care and affection.

It’s really just the opposite!

When you practice tough love, you actually provide a loving catalyst for profound change!  Whether this be with your partner, your kids, or your colleagues, setting limits and enforcing consequences is all about compassion.  These are the most loving steps you can take to help others live into their highest good.

You know why?

Because as humans we are naturally compelled to break the rules. I’m not referring to the BIG rules like tax evasion or causing bodily harm.  I’m referring to the little rules that are easy to manipulate.  Things like eating fast food every day and convincing yourself you won’t gain weight.  Or believing you can cheat on a test and still know the material.  Or that you can manifest your dreams by envisioning them, without taking the steps to get there.

If you are witness to someone who is being inauthentic, you can do two things.  You can ignore it and let the people in your life (including yourself!), get away with deception and denial.  Or you can intervene with a tough but loving bit of advice.  This, my friends, is love.  When you will risk your own standing in someones life, by taking a stand for theirs.

There was a time when I thought that being “tough” was being mean.  But there’s a distinction.  When you’re tough without the love, then you are just being angry and resentful.  But when you witness someone struggling – because they don’t see the truth in their actions – then your intervention is a genuine act of kindness.  You can choose to say to them,  “If you keep walking this path, you are going to hurt yourself and others, and I’m not going to let that happen.  So make a choice.”

Powerful.  In this moment, you not only define yourself, but you defend others.  Your character shines through by giving people a choice they may not have otherwise been given.  You present the option to create different outcomes.  You take their hand, walk them to the starting line, and say, “Now go”.

So what about you?

Are you willing to take a stand for someone in your life today?  Are you willing to practice a little tough love with someone who needs to take better care of themselves?  What are you going to say to that special person who’s stuck in a rut? You really can be a catalyst for change.  Remember, it takes courage to show someone their ways, so empower yourself with solutions.

If you’re looking for ways to support a friend or loved one, consider gifting them my monthly newsletter and blog.  They will receive my free email mini-course, “The Five Strategies to Live Your MaxLife!”, which is an easy way to move people into action.  The gift is timeless, and people will thank you.

Be a powerful force in the world today!

And I’ll look forward to your comments and stories.

Character is More about Giving, Than Receiving

A few days ago, my son had his friend Ethan over to play.  As Ethan was leaving, he asked if he could borrow Max’s acorn collection. Max was very torn. Like most kids, the concept of sharing does not come easy, even when they know it’s the “right” thing to do.

Rather than telling Max he HAD to share with Ethan, I chose to remind him that when you GIVE, you will always RECEIVE in equal amounts.  After much thought, Max realized that in actually gifting these acorns to Ethan, he would then be the recipient of something with equal value.   Both Ethan and I said that it may not be the next day, or even the next week, but at some point Max would get the favor returned.

A few days later I stumbled across a yo-yo in my car.  My nephew had given this to me to give to Max, and I had forgotten about it.  When I picked Max up from school, I gave him the yo-yo and said his cousin had given it to him.  It did not take long for Max to make the connection about giving and receiving.  He immediately said, “Mom, you and Ethan were right!  I DID get a gift just like you said I would!”

Today, take a moment to reflect on how you can translate “gift giving” into “gift receiving”.  Do we really need to know that we will get back in order to give authentically?  Some of us do, and that’s okay.  Embrace this, and look at what “gifts” you have received by giving.  Peace of mind?  Improved health?  A lesson learned?

We live in an interconnected world, so perhaps one day you will be in need of a charitable gesture – even if just from a friend who offers a good book or a home-cooked meal when you are feeling ill.

Teaching and living charitable action encourages empathy.  Instead of just telling your kids to round up their “gently used” toys for a donation, you can first sit down as a family and discuss the multitude of reasons WHY to give.  With this ownership, your kids will be inspired to create a plan of action that they are personally invested in.

Use this opportunity to teach your family about the wonderful feeling that giving creates.  Show them how others can truly benefit from your generosity. Remember, monetary donations are only part of the equation.  You and your family can also give of your time, your heart, your resources and your words.

For more information and ideas on how you and your family can get involved in volunteering, or for charitable organizations, please refer to the following websites:

http://www.actsofkindness.org/node/478425

http://www.artistshelpingchildren.org/wayschildrencanvolunteer.html

http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/family/volunteer.html

http://kidsactivities.suite101.com/article.cfm/how_kids_can_volunteer

http://www.idealist.org/if/as/vol

Max and I play a game where we pick a subject and ask each other what our favorite thing is within that subject.  For example, what is your favorite ice cream, what is your favorite color, what was your favorite part about the day?

Yesterday we asked “what is your favorite word?”.  Max chose the word “foo-fee”.  Right, not a word, but he says it all the time, and I have grown to love that “word” too! My word was “conviction”.  I love the way it sounds, what it means – “a strong persuasion or belief”.  I use this word near daily when coaching my clients.  When someone says “I can’t”, “I always fail at this”, “I’ve never been good at this”, “I always repeat the same bad habits”, I ask them to see how much conviction – strong belief – they are putting into these negative statements.

Then I ask them to pay attention to how they feel when they think about someone they admire or totally believe in – a role model, a mentor, their children, etc.  A profound shift takes place.  They sit up straight, they get their game-face on, or they smile – but they absolutely defend their belief, their conviction, in that person.  They KNOW without a doubt, that this person will come through, will do the right thing, will succeed.  I then shift it back to the belief in themselves.  If you could pay forward this conviction you have for others, onto yourselves, what would that create?  How would you set yourselves up for success, rather than perpetuating the less desirable results?

Complete conviction is a must when accomplishing the truly grand.  Conviction is what carries you when the element of Time starts to chip away at your dreams.  It is what carries you when the negative people start to hack away at your plans.  It is what sets you in motion every day, even when your surroundings present a different scenario.  It is what creates the shift from doubtful thinking, to the type of thinking that ATTRACTS positive outcomes.

So today, ask yourself, “What is my favorite part about me?”.  Is it that you are super organized? Great! Then move forward with the belief that this is exactly what’s needed to plan healthy meals and snacks for your family.  Are you an adventurist?  Fabulous!  You are the type of person who is willing to explore new foods and different forms of exercise!  Did you ever stop to think about this?  Not if you are being the world’s best salesperson on what you are not.

Rather than convincing yourself about what you can’t do, tap into the power that comes when you focus on – and enroll others – in the things you CAN do.  This is your gift.

Then find the resources needed to move your desires for better health into reality.

Have a wonderful day!